Oliver Myers: 1 year old

You were born. In a bathtub.

I remember looking down at your little face and thinking to myself… Holy shit, that kid is BLUE. Okay, so maybe I didn’t think it, maybe it came out of my mouth… and maybe everyone told me that was normal. And maybe? Just maybe? I didn’t believe them at first. But then you turned a normal shade of normal (because really? Peach just doesn’t cover it….) and I was okay.

And yes, I said you were born in a bathtub. Why? Because you try giving birth without drugs without some warmth around you. Thankyouverymuch (BTW, MAD respect for those of you out there who have done that). Except you’ll never have to give birth, because you’re a boy.

Speaking of which… having a boy? Changed my life. Having a baby changed my life, but seriously? A boy? What in the world was I going to do with a little boy? I’m a girl. I don’t know what little boys like, I don’t know how to pee standing up, I don’t even really like blue all that much. What in the world was I going to do with a little boy???

Well….

The minute you were born, I knew that things were going to be okay. How could I not love you with all of my heart and soul? How could I not want to protect you from anyone and anything that might ever hurt you? How could I not want to be your mommy forever and ever and ever? Because you, my darling little man, are the light of my life. You’re my reason for being. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. You’re the reason I do everything I do.

You’re so fun to be around. You’re so social. You’re so smart. You’re so strong. You’re so…. you. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby. You smile all the time. You are interested in whatever I am doing (and everyone around you). You are so intent on learning everything about anything around you. You’re my little Philosopher… always thinking. Yet, you’re your own little man. With a personality that charms everyone around you. A snuggle bunny at heart, yet an old, independent soul. You amaze me each and every day. I couldn’t possibly love you more.

You’ve started walking. Not just a few steps here and there, but full on truckin’ it around the house. You spend a majority of your day moving the furniture around and getting into whatever you can get your little hands on. I find you in the strangest places, getting into things that you know are off limits, with a smile so big, it’s hard to get upset.

With everything going on, it’s hard not to look at you and forget about all the stress… all the anger… all the sadness. It’s hard not to look into your face and see all the love that you feel for me… that I feel for you. It’s so hard to picture a life without you. You help me feel whole. You help me feel loved. You’ve helped make me a better person.

You’re amazing. You light up my life, you complete my heart, you are my world. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I can’t possibly express all the love I feel for you. Just know that one year ago today, at this very moment, bringing you into this world change me forever. For the better. And for that? I will give you everything you could ever possibly want…. except for that. And that. Well… and that, too.

Happy birthday BabyOliver.

I love you more than you love your fingers.